Math Problems
by Me Myself and Kisame
Summary: Hidan sucks at math. Not to mention he hates it with every fiber of his being. But what happens when other problems begin to push their way into Hidan's ife? If he can't handel math problems, how is he supossed to handel love problems?
1. Chapter 1

An: I do not own Naruto.

Also for Zetsu, if it is **bolded **that means that it's Black Zetsu. If it is normal, that means that it's White Zetsu. And if it is underlined that means that Black and White Zetsu are talking at the same time.

"Wake up, wake up, Hidan better wake up." Someone sang ripping Hidan from his sleep. Hidan's eyes fluttered open and the person sang again.

"Up, up, out of bed, Hidan's such a sleepy head."

Hidan groaned and got out of bed to move over to his open bedroom window

"What is it Tobi?" Hidan asked leaning out the window looking down at him.

"Tobi thought it would be fun to come get you." a boy with black hair said happily from behind an orange swirlly mask.

"Uh…ok…why?" Hidan asked looking at Tobi as if he were a short giraffe.

"Are you serious hm?" a boy with long blond hair that was kept in a high pony tail asked.

"I told you he was in his own little world Deidara." a more gruff voice said from behind a mask.

"Oh shut up Kakuzu." Hidan grumbled giving the group an angry gesture with his middle finger.

"Watch it Hidan or you'll be missing that finger!" Kakuzu threatened irritatedly

"Well if you're going to be like that, what's today huh?" the tallest of the group with blue hair and blue skin asked.

"What are you talking about? It's Saturday." Hidan Replied.

The group laughed.

"Are you kidding?" the blue-skinned boy asked chuckling softly.

"It's Monday hm." Deidara added.

"Yes, and it's the first day of School" a composed boy with long black hair and red eyes said matter-of-factly.

"Wh-what!?" Hidan's eyes widened to sizes that could rival ostrich eggs, "No way!"

"Yeah! I know! Tobi's excited too!" Tobi cheered happily.

"So I'm guessing you're not ready hm?" Deidara asked.

"N-no!" Hidan stuttered

"Well then, maybe you should call Zetsu-san?" Tobi suggested "He can get here to get you and back to the school in no time flat."

"Oh yeah! Zetsu!" Hidan said relieved, "Thanks Tobi!" Hidan rushed back into his room "I'll meet up with your guys latter ok!?"

"Ok." the group replied and walked off. Hidan hurriedly pulled out his cell phone from his pants pocket and dialed Zetsu's cell phone number. After several rings a two toned boy answered the pone.

"Hello?" the tones said in unison.

"Hey Zetsu, Hey I need you to come get me."

"**What?**" black Zetsu asked somewhat irritatedly.

"Um," Hidan mumbled "Could you please come and get me?"

"**Why should we come and get you?**" black Zetsu questioned again

"Because, I didn't know that today was the first day of school."

"Really?" White Zetsu asked this time.

"Y-yeah, so do you think you could come get me?"

"Well, why should we?" white Zetsu asked. "**Maybe this would be a good lesson for you Hidan?**" black Zetsu added.

"Wh-what?" Hidan stuttered, "A-aw, C'mon Zetsu." Hidan mumbled "Come on, Zu-Zu, please?"

"Hm? **What was that?**"

Hidan felt himself begin to turn red "Aw…C-c'mon Zuuu-Zuuu, pwease? Pwetty pwease Zu-Zu?" Hidan was going to continue but stopped when he heard Zetsu chuckling in the background.

"Zu-Zu?" Hidan asked, he blushed and cleared his throat quickly "I-- er-- Zetsu!"

Zetsu laughed, "Yeah, yeah, I know." Black and white Zetsu said together "Be there in a second." The call ended and a few moments later there was a soft humming noise coming from outside Hidan's window. Hidan moved over to the window and leaned out to see a half black and half white boy with green hair standing there looking up at him with his yellow eyes.

"**Not wearing a shirt today Hidan?**" black Zetsu asked.

Hidan looked down at his chest to see that he was in fact not wearing a shirt.

"**Are you trying to impress us or something?**"

Hidan blushed faintly "Shut-- Shut up Zetsu!"

"Just get ready and get down here Hidan!" White Zetsu said chuckling softly.

"Yeah! Yeah!" Hidan said quickly moving away from the window to get ready. When he was finished he returned to the window. "Ok, I'm ready!" he called down to Zetsu.

"Ok," white Zetsu said "**C'mon down then!**" black Zetsu added.

"Ok!" Hidan said climbing onto the window still, "You should catch me Zetsu!"

"Catch you!?" black and white Zetsu said together, slightly alarmed. He thought for a moment, "Fine!" White Zetsu began, "**But you have to call us 'Zu-Zu' from now on!**" black Zetsu finished.

Hidan paused to contemplate his decision, "Well…fine! You ready to catch me then _Zu-Zu_!?"

Zetsu smiled, "Yep, ready!" the two replied.

"Good!" Hidan said jumping off the window still, falling down from his second story window into Zetsu's arms with a soft grunt, a louder one sounding from the other.

"You ok Zu-Zu?" Hidan asked looking at him.

"Yeah, fine. You just landed strangely." White Zetsu said as they lowered him to the ground.

"Oh, ok." Hidan said.

"C'mon, let's go." Black and white Zetsu said taking Hidan's hand into his and sinking into the ground.

"Eh, this is weird." Hidan said moving closer to Zetsu underground.

Zetsu looked over at Hidan "Hm? Are you afraid?" black and white Zetsu asked a smirk in his voice.

"Wh-what? Psshh! Of course not!"

Zetsu Shrugged "**Whatever.**" Black Zetsu said "Ok we're here." white Zetsu said. They rose out of the ground. "Woo, Hideyoshi High School." Black and white Zetsu said sarcastically.

Hidan looked around the room that they rose into, "Hey Zet-- er, Zu-Zu, where are we?"

"**In our first class.**" Black Zetsu said. "You happen to have your first class with us." White Zetsu added.

"Ok, that's cool. I can get a ride with you to school every morning now Zu-Zu." Hidan said nudging Zetsu in the side smiling.

"Yeah, yeah ok." Black and White Zetsu said and smiled.

"Ok, ok. Everyone sit." The teacher said talking above the chatter of the students in the room. The class slowly calmed down and everyone took their seats, students mumbling amongst one another while the teacher wrote something on the black board.

"I am Mr. Aburame," He said pointing to his name that he wrote on the board, "I will be your Biology teacher." he said at length. He paused and looked around the room at the students and slowly continued. "Ok, I'm going to take roll…say something when your name is called." Mr. Aburame picked up a sheet of paper and began reading off name, "Akihiko?"

"Here." Akihiko said raising his hand into the air.

Hidan sighed and began trying to find something to do that interested him. Hidan looked over to his left and noticed that he was sitting next to Zetsu, "Hey Zu-Zu, looks like I sit next to you." Hidan said turning towards him, "Heh, I feel kinda bad for ya."

Zetsu blinked and looked over at Hidan, "Hm? Why do you feel bad for us?" Black and White Zetsu asked together.

"Why? Well, 'cause I'm annoying, and am supposedly an 'ugly-ass-cock-sucking-bitch-with-no-dick'"

"Whoa…what?" White Zetsu asked "**Who said that?**" Black Zetsu asked.

Hidan looked around "Yeah, that kid, Akihiko Takamochi." He said pointing to a boy neat the front with gray short hair.

"Him? The one with the gray hair?" White Zetsu asked clarifying that he was the guy.

"Yep, that's him." Hidan said leaning back in his chair.

"**Just you wait, he's not going to show up at school for a while starting tomorrow.**" Black Zetsu said leaning back in his chair as well.

Hidan chuckled. "Ok, thanks Zu-Zu-chan" Hidan said smiling over at Zetsu.

"Mm-hm." Black and white Zetsu said smiling happily back at Hidan.

"Hidan?" Mr. Aburame asked from the front of the classroom.

"Huh?" Hidan looked up at him, "Oh, Here."

"Ok, Zetsu?"

"Here." Black and White Zetsu said together.

"Ok, so that's everybody." Mr. Aburame said setting down the sheet, "Now, we begin the lesson on insects…" My Aburame said picking up a piece of chalk. "Ok…so insects are…"

Hidan Yawned and looked around the room.

"Well, this is going to be boring…" Hidan mumbled. After yawning once more Hidan stared off into space acting like he was paying attention for the rest of the class.


	2. Chapter 2

"Wow, that was boring." Hidan grumbled getting up out of his seat.

"Yeah, I almost fell asleep." White Zetsu said standing up also.

"So, what class do you have next?" Hidan asked as the walked out of the room. Zetsu rummaged around his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper.

"I've got History, with a Mr. Hyuga." Zetsu said looking down at his schedule.

"Seriously? That sucks, I got Math."

"Oh, well we'll walk with you there." Black and White Zetsu said smiling at him.

"Gee, thanks Zu-Zu." Hidan said smiling back at him as they turned a corner.

* * *

Hidan laughed, "Yeah I'm sure." He said walking up to his class room door.

"Yeah, for sure." Zetsu said smiling.

"Well, whatever." Hidan Sais smiling, "I gotta go learn mathematics now." Hidan rolled his eyes. "Jashin help me, this class is going to be the death of me." Hidan said bringing his hands up and pretending to choke himself. He made a choking sound, "Ehh! Damn you math!"

Zetsu Laughed "No, you can't die." Zetsu said grabbing Hidan's hands and pulling them away from his neck, "People would miss you too much."

Hidan chuckled, "Seriously? Like who?"

"Well, there's us." The Zetsu's said looking down at Hidan.

Hidan blinked "Wha?"

"We'd be sad if you died." The Zetsu's said.

"S-seriously? Why?"

"**Why?**" Black Zetsu said then thought for a moment. "Well we--"

There was a loud bring as the bell rang.

"Ok, everybody, in class, believe it." A man with blond spiky hair said walking past " That means you guys too." He said pointing at Hidan and Zetsu.

Hidan and Zetsu nodded, "Yes sir." They replied in unison.

"Good." The man said smiling then walked off.

"Uh…S-sorry I made you late Zu-Zu."

"No it's ok." The Zetsu's said as a man with long brown hair and white eyes passed by them. Zetsu smiled. "That my teacher anyway." White Zetsu said "**And I suspect that we can beat him there."** Black Zetsu added.

Hidan smiled. "Ok I'll see you latter then."

"Yep, see ya." The Zetsu's said sinking into the ground disappearing.

"I'm guessing that you're in my class." A man said from behind Hidan.

Hidan jumped slightly and quickly spun around to face a man with black hair witch was kept up in a high ponytail. Hidan started up at the man relating his head closely to that of a pineapple.

"Arrre you Hidan?" The Pineapple-headed man asked.

Hidan blinked "Huh? Oh yeah, I'm Hidan."

"Well then, Come on in." The pineapple head said walking into the room.

"O-ok." Hidan said following after him

"Just sit wherever you want." Pineapple head said moving to the front of the room. Hidan looked around the room for people that he knew. "Oh hey, Sasori's in my class." Hidan thought sitting down in an empty chair in the middle.

"Ok, so now that we're all here, we're going to review what you learned in the 8th grade." He said writing an equation on the board. "Ok, so what does 'x' equal in this problem?"

Sasori raised his hand

"Uh," Pineapple head looked down at a sheet of paper, "Yes, Sasori?"

"Four?"

"Yes, very good Sasori. Do you remember why?"

"Because, four plus seven equals eleven and if you put four in for x you get eleven."

"Exactly, good job Sasori." Pineapple head said writing down another equation.

"Damn…this is boring…" Hidan thought staring at the board.

"Hidan. Would you like to try this one?" Pineapple head said gesturing towards the equation. Hidan looked at the board at the equation, which looked like this: 3x = 9

"Oh…hmm…uh…we-we're looking for x right?" Pineapple head nodded "Yeah, we're finding x"

"Oh…ok..hm…do…we…subtract the three?"

Pineapple shook his head "No. We have to get the x by itself, but not by subtraction."

"Umm….Division?" Hidan asked hesitantly.

"Yes, that's right." Pineapple said smiling as he wrote in that part of the equation.

Hidan smiled

"So what do we divide?" Do we divide the three?" Hidan asked scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah, we do. Ok, so then x equals?""Two-- No! three."

"Ok, good" Pineapple nodded in approval.

"Uh, er…Mr.…um…Pineapple head" Hidan asked raising his hand.

Pineapple head blinked and looked over at Hidan slowly "What did you just cal me?" He asked.

There was a commutative chuckle throughout the class "His head does kinda look like a Pineapple." A student mumbled snickering softly.

Yeah, very funny." Pineapple said putting his hands on his hips "And Hidan, I'm Mr. Nara for future reference."

Hidan nodded blushing faintly. "Y-yes Mr. Nara."

"Good, ok now we'll learn about more complex problems.

There was a collective groan form the class.

"Oh Come on, they're not even that hard." Mr. Nara said writing an equation on the board.

Hidan grounded inwardly "Like hell they are." he thought scowling at the equation on the board. "I Fuckin' hate math."


	3. Chapter 3

- 6 Weeks into the school year-

Zetsu Yawned as he closed his book and tucked it way in his school bag. Zetsu laid his head down onto his desk and sighed at length.

"Geez…this really makes me want to continue biology…" He grumbled wondering how one teacher could give out so much homework in so little time. Yawning Zetsu got up from his desk and moved over to his bed plopping down onto it pressing his face into the sheets.

"Hm…I wonder what Hidan's doing right now…" White Zetsu mumbled into the sheets.

"**Who knows…he might be masturbating."** the deeper tone mumbled into the sheets bringing his hand up and scratching that back of their neck. There was a short pause. "Y-yeah." White Zetsu mumbled his breathing quickening slightly. Zetsu shifted his hips and gasped, then shifted his hips again, more roughly rubbing his clothed erection against the bed, "D-Damn it." Zetsu groaned flipping over onto his back. He breathed Staggeredly as he sneaked hi hand down into his pants. His breath hitched as he gripped his hardened length and stroked, roughly. Images of Hidan flashed though his head as he stroked, quickening his pace. Suddenly a new image pushed its way into Zetsu's head. It was of Hidan lying on top of his bed sprawled out on his back. A small stream of saliva slowly trickling from his mouth while he pleasured himself with his on hand, soft moans escaping from him, arching his back as he came.

"O-oh man, Hidan." Zetsu moaned pumping his hand roughly up and down his throbbing length, aching for release. Zetsu arched his back and gave an elated cry as he came. Panting Zetsu slowly pulled his hand out of his pants and curled up into a ball on his bed closing his eyes; slowly his breathing evened out and slowed as he drifted to sleep.

* * *

The Next Morning.

* * *

Zetsu was startled awake by his cell phone vibrating and then ringing in his pants pocket. Zetsu grabbed his phone from his pocket answering it. Then muttered a hello into it.

"Good morning Zu-Zu, how's it goin'?" Hidan asked sounding awake and cheery on the other end of the phone.

"O-oh, Hidan, H-hello." Black and white Zetsu said doing their best trying not to sound like he just woke up. "Good morning." despite his efforts, Zetsu's voice was slightly horse and sleepy sounding literally voicing that he had just woken up.

"Oh, Shit, I'm sorry Zu-Zu, did I wake you up?"

"N-no" Black and white Zetsu said behind a yawn.

Hidan chuckled, "Yeah sure. Anyway, you wanna do something today? Since it's Saturday?"

"O-oh!" Zetsu sat up in his bed quickly rubbing at his eyes with his free hand. "Y-yeah! Yeah sure!"

Hidan chuckled again, "Excited maybe?"

Zetsu blushed "W-whatever. So, what do you wanna do?"

"Hmm…I dunno, wanna just hang out all day? Maybe see a movie?"

"Ok, sure, that sounds good to me." Zetsu said smiling.

"Ok, So I'm going to show up at your house soon, so be ready."

"Yeah ok. Zetsu replied.

"Bye Zu-Zu." Hidan said happily.

"Bye Hidan." Zetsu said holding back a yawn. The call ended and Zetsu got up from his bed. As Zetsu tool a step away from his bed he felt a sticky substance against his inner thigh. Zetsu gasps softly remembering what had happened the night before.

"Oh, man" Zetsu mumbled slipping his hand into his pants and wiping away some of the cum. "I need a shower, seriously." Zetsu stretched while yawning as he entered his bathroom to take a much needed shower.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I do not own Naruto. It belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. If I did own it, most of this stuff would have already happened.

"Ahhm…I needed that." Zetsu said stepping out of his shower. Zetsu grabbed a towel and dried himself off. Moving over to the sink taking his toothbrush into his hand and brushing his teeth. As Zetsu finished brushing his teeth the doorbell rang and was followed by several rapid knocks.

Zetsu quickly rinsed out his mouth and went to the stairs leading to his front door. There was another knock "Zu-" the door opened reveling Hidan standing in the doorway. "…Zu…" Hidan's eyes widened, "Oh- Holly shit!" Hidan gasped covering his eyes with one of his arms and turning his head to the side.

"H-Hidan?" Zetsu asked sounding confused and hurt.

"Z-Z-Zetsu-Ch-Chan," Hidan stammered peeking over at Zetsu then blushed darkly and buried his face into his arm.

Zetsu blinked in confusion. "What's wrong Hidan?"

"Y-y-your d-d-dick!" Hidan stuttered gesturing blindly at Zetsu.

Zetsu looked down slowly. "Oh…" Zetsu's eyes widened in realization "Sh-sh-sh-shit!" Zetsu looked around quickly and grabbed his potted sunflower off of the table beside the stairs and held it in front of his member hiding it. Zetsu blushed darkly "H-Hidan, I-I'm-" Zetsu began

"Zetsu," Hidan said bringing his head away from his arm looking over at him, "You're turning me on." Hidan said smiling at Zetsu and winking at him.

Zetsu blushed darker "I-I'm turning Hidan on?" Zetsu thought tightening his grip on the flower pot a slight tingling sensation running through his body. Zetsu glanced down slowly to see himself beginning to harden. "D-Dammit, _he's _turning _me _on." Zetsu shivered slightly as another wave of the tingling sensation moved through him. "H-Hidan, I'm sorry." Zetsu mumbled.

"Nah, it's ok." Hidan said surprisingly close. "I was liking it anyway."

Zetsu jumped in surprised, almost looking his grip on the potted sunflower. "Hi-Hidan!" Zetsu gasped looking up at Hidan quickly. "W-When--"

"I decided to come on over when you looked down at your obviously well kept sunflower." Hidan said a grin spreading across his face.

Zetsu blinked "I-is he talking about me pe-" Zetsu's thought were interrupted by Hidan.

"Hey, does it pollinate a lot?" He asked looking up at him.

"I…seriously can't tell if he's talking about my Sunflower," Zetsu looked down at his potted Sunflower, "Or my…" Zetsu glanced back behind the potted plant at his slightly hard dick, "Does he even remember that--"

"Well?" Hidan asked interrupting Zetsu's thoughts again.

"Well…" Zetsu Began…"Y-yeah…I…guess so…" he said a faint blush taking over his cheeks again as he looked up a the still grinning Hidan.

"well that's just fantastic." Hidan said his grin widening more, "Can I see it?"

Zetsu's blush darkened drastically "Is…is he serious?" Zetsu thought "Th-this is like a dream." He thought, his heart beginning to beat faster, "Y-you want to see it?"

"Yeah, 'course I do." Hidan replied.

Zetsu blushed a little darker "O-ok then, you can." He squeezed his eyes shut "I…J-just don't make fun of it"

"Why would I?" Hidan asked as Zetsu felt the flower pot being taken from his hands "I mean, it's great. How did you get it this big?"

Zetsu blushed darkly "W-well…I-I dunno."

'Do you use fertilizer or something?"

"Fertilizer?" Zetsu asked "I-is he talking about enhancement pills or something?" Zetsu thought "Um..uh n-no."

"Big naturally huh? Lucky. I wish mine was as big as yours."

"O-oh, Hidan." Zetsu mumbled placing one of his hands on one of his blushing cheeks. Zetsu parted his lips his breath quickening as he felt himself harden a little more.

"You should put this in one of those contests you know? You'd win."

Zetsu blushed even darker as he hardened fully as Hidan's comments. "O-oh Hidan, I'm sure you'd win not me."

There was a short pause.

"What are you talking about Zetsu? I don't even have a sunflower."

There was another pause

"What is he talking about, he's a guy, he has to have a dick." Zetsu thought before opening his eye to see Hidan a few feet in front of him looking at him as Hidan gestured to the flower in his hands. As Hidan gestured to the sunflower, he realized that Hidan was talking about his actual sun flower the whole time and he felt his heart break into prices. Zetsu bit his lip preventing it from quivering. "H-he was talking about the sun flower the whole time…." He thought bringing his hand down away from his cheek slowly.

"I….I…..Forget it…." Zetsu said turning around, "I'm….I'm going to go get dressed…Ok?"

"Oh, ok then." Hidan said watching Zetsu, "I'll wait here then."

Zetsu nodded and then headed up the stairs into his bathroom.

Zetsu closed the door behind him and walked over to the sink, hunching over it. Zetsu sighed staggeredly

"**I-I shouldn't have even thought that Hidan liked us…"** Zetsu hunched over closer to the sink "B-but he said that we were turning him on, remember? **Yeah sure, I remember, but he easily could have been lying."**

"Y-you really think so?"

"**Yeah."**

"B-But….he even winked at us."

"**He may have done that so that it seems like he liked us.**"

"O-Oh….I see…."

There was a short pause.

"W-well…we better handle this huh?" Zetsu Griped his hardened member with both hands. Zetsu shuddered as a wave of pleasure ran through him.

"**Y-yeah, otherwise we're going to have issues all day, especially around Hidan.**"

They began to stroke roughly

"A-ah…y-yeahh" Zetsu moaned, their legs shaking under them. He braced himself up against the sink to keep himself from falling over.

"**L-Let's m-move over to the t-toilet.**" Zetsu suggested taking his hand off of their hand member and placed it on the edge of the sink moaning softly.

"Nn." Zetsu replied pumping his hand up and down faster along their weeping erection ignoring the others request.

Zetsu gasped in surprise not expecting the other to ignore him.

"**H-Hey.**" Zetsu moaned "**W-we're going to f-fall over.**" He moaned again their legs shaking more violently.

"F-F-Fine." Zetsu grunted slowing down his strokes.

They panted as they moved over to the toilet and sat down. Black Zetsu raised his let up and placed it on the edge of the shower. "**Be-besides. I-I've got a better angle from here.**" He moaned as White Zetsu began groping roughly at there dick which was followed by him whimpering and arching his back as Black Zetsu probed at their entrance with his index finger.

"**C'mon, you'll like it. Just pretend it's Hidan.**" He said pushing his finger in.

Both Zetsu's gasped at the feeling and Black Zetsu pressed his finger in farther curling and uncurling his finger. After a few moments of adjusting to the feeling, Black Zetsu began searching around with his finger for their special spot. White Zetsu cried out as Black Zetsu brushed his finger against their prostate.

"O-oh man!" White Zetsu Jerked his hips as he pumped his hand up and down the erection roughly and pressed down against Black Zetsu's finger. Black Zetsu stuffed two more of his fingers in and struck their prostate repeatedly.

"A-Ah!" Both Zetsu's moaned as the came violently, the cum splattering against their stomach.

They panted breathlessly as Black Zetsu removed his fingers from themselves.

"W-we should take a-another shower quick." White Zetsu said panting.

"Y-yeah." Black Zetsu replied as they got up from the toilet and stepped into the shower to clean themselves once again, cursing himself at how badly he wanted Hidan.

Hidan blinked as he heard the water being turned on, "He's taking another shower?" He wondered aloud. "I thought that he had taken one before I came?" He asked himself. "Yeah, he did." He said answering his own question. "That's why he was naked when I got….here…" Hidan's memory flashed back to when Zetsu was naked in front of him. Just then, Hidan felt a faint throb in-between him legs. "A-ah." Hidan breathed "Wh-why does…th-that turn me on?" he took several deep breaths. "D-Do I like him?" Hidan glanced down to see a slight bulge in his pants and a faint blush came to his cheeks. "B-but…he's a guy…and.. and I'm…I'm a guy…..I-is…that ok?" He asked looking down at the bulge in his pants. Hidan's blush darkened "Tch… argh, what am I doing? I'm asking my erection a question!" Hidan grabbed the sides of his head and tossed his head back "What is wrong with me!"

Hidan felt another throb in-between his legs, this time more heated, needy. A moan escaped Hidan and he shuddered slightly.

"O-oh man." Hidan said looking back down to notice that the bulge in his pants had grown.

"Sh-shit." Hidan grumbled bringing his hands back down to his sides. "I…I gotta take care of this." He said looking around. "Wh-what should I do though?"

Hidan felt an urge to touch himself and Shivered. "N-no, I-I can't…not here…" Hidan mumbled down towards his erection as if trying to come to an agreement with it, but his erection did not comply as once again it throbbed, demanding to be touched.

"A-ah, dammit." Hidan cussed his hands twitching wanting so badly to touch himself.

"F-Fuck." Hidan groaned "How do you get rid of a hard on besides masturbating!" Hidan grumbled as he looked around for a way to satisfy himself.

"Cold water helps with them right?" He mumbled to himself as he looked at a sink in Zetsu's Kitchen attached to the living room that he was in. "Y-yeah, I'll try that." He mumbled walking over to the sink slowly Hidan stared down at the sink for a moment and then looked up and listened closely to make sure that the water upstairs was still running.

"Ok good…he's still in the shower." Hidan breathed and grabbed the handle of the sink labeled 'C' and turned it on "Hm….how should I go about this?" Hidan questioned while putting his hand under the running water to check its temperature. Content with the coolness of the water, Hidan pulled his hand out from the water and moved his hands to his pants. He unbuttoned then unzipped his pants and then shimmied them down slightly trying to remove as little clothing as possible. He slipped his hand through the slit of his boxers and grabbed his hardening member which he then pulled out. Hidan gasped softly as the cool air met with his heated skin.

"W-whoa." Hidan breathed his hands shaking slightly as he let go of his now fully hardened member. "Ha….haa.." he breathed grabbing blindly onto the sink to support himself "Hnn." He grunted as he pushed down on the sink moving himself up so that he was hovering over the sink. "Mnn." Hidan grumbled as he searched for knobs of the cabinet below the sink with his feet, fumbling with the knobs once he found them. Hidan breathed staggeredly as he looked down at the running water gushing out.

"O-ok….n-never done this before" He mumbled swallowing hard. His eyes fluttered closed and he thrust himself under the running water. Hidan cried out

"A-Ah! Th-the Fuck!" Hidan moaned his eyes shooting open "Wh-when the hell did it get warm!" he moaned slightly louder as the luke warm water ran along his hard member. "H-haa…W-whoa!" Hidan gasped as he almost lost his footing, grabbing onto the faucet handle to right himself tugging forward on the handle. Moments latter the warm water heated up more to hot tube material warmness causing Hidan to gasp in pleasure as his member throbbed demanding attention.

"W-whoa." Hidan murmured in a hot breathy moan as he brought his hands off from the sink handles and wrapped his hands around his length.

"H-haa." Hidan shivered as he began to massage his aching member. After a few minutes of massaging in combination with the warm water it was beginning to become too much for him as he felt something starting to build up inside of him. "W-whoa." He moaned presses himself as close to the water as possible. Hidan continued pleasuring himself as Zetsu came down the stairs and looked into the kitchen to see Hidan hunched over his sink pleasuring himself. Zetsu opened him mouth to say something but slowly closed it again watching him in complete fascination. "H-….dan.." Zetsu mumbled inaudibly. Hidan moaned louder as he pumped his hands up and down himself going faster and faster nearing his climax.

"A-ah, Shit!" he yelped and tossed his head back as he came, moaning loudly while still pumping his hand up and down his length roughly.

Zetsu watched Hidan with wide eyes as he barely shook off the feeling of hardening again, "W-we gotta move." Zetsu mumbled taking a step back, the stair that he stepped back on creaked loudly sending a wave of fear flooding through the plant man. "O-oh shit." He thought his heart racing.

"Z-Zetsuuu~" Hidan moaned massaging himself fantasizing about Zetsu pleasuring him and taking him right where he was, not aware of the plant man's presence at all.

Zetsu's heart stopped. "D-did he hear me?" Zetsu thought looking at Hidan wide eyed.

"Z-Zetsu~!" Hidan moaned loudly arching his back as he continued massaging himself.

"H-He must know we're here." Zetsu thought as he slowly got down from the stairs.

"A-Ah! Zetsu!" Hidan gasped as he lost his footing on the knobs and began falling backwards to the floor. Snapping back to reality Hidan squeezed his eyes shut tightly and opened his mouth to cuss in pain with the impact, but then after a few moments and no impact he opened his eyes to see that someone had caught him.

"A-are you ok Hidan?" Zetsu stammered looking down at him.

"Z-Zetsu!" Hidan gasped in shock "W-when did you…"

"I…I heard you f-from the stairs."

Hidan blushed darkly "Th-then you…"

Zetsu nodded slowly as a fain blush took over his cheeks. "I….I.. Are you ok?" Zetsu asked trying to change the subject

"I-I'm fine….Z-Zetsu…h-how long……were you there?" Hidan asked his blush darkening.

"I…just a few minutes…b-but it felt like forever." Zetsu looked off to the side and mumbled softly "I…I didn't want it to end…"Zetsu blushed darkly as he said this.

"Z…Zetsu…I….H-how do I put this…."

"Hi-Hidan….I-I'm so sorry I…I just--"

"Zetsu," Hidan interrupted getting the other attention. "I….Th-this might sound weird…but," Hidan reached up and gripped Zetsu's chin lightly then turned his head so that hw was looking at him "I….I d-don't mind if you…um…w-watch me." he mumbled softly, blushed darkly.

Zetsu blushed darker, if possible

"Hi-Hidan…I-I.."

"Z-Zetsu." Hidan mumbled looking off to the side letting go of the pant man's chin "I-I," Hidan swallowed hard, "I….w-want to tell you something."

"O-ok then, what is it?" Zetsu asked blushing darkly still.

"I-I um," Hidan moved his hand to the back of Zetsu's head and gently began to pull hid head down closer to his, "I….I r-really," Hidan mumbled his eyes fluttering closed as he slowly closed the distance between them both of their hearts racing.

"Z-Zetsu, th-this is going to sound crazy, b-but I-"

Just then the door bell rang which was followed promptly by a set of loud knocks.

"Zetsu." Came the voice of an impatient sounding boy from the other side of the door.

"Zetsu." The boy repeated more loudly this time.

Zetsu sighed exasperatedly and did not respond in hopes that the person would leave.

"Zetsu, are you home?" the boy asked. A few moments latter the door bell rang again, "Zetsu! C'mon, I know you're home! You never have anything to do!"

Zetsu groaned irritatedly and moved Hidan away from the sink in his arms. "Here, I'll put you on the couch Hidan." He said walking over to and setting him on the cough.

There was another loud knock at the door, "C'mon!"

Zetsu Growled softly "I'm Coming! I'm coming!" Zetsu said walking over to the door. Hidan watched Zetsu for a moment then looked down and noticed that his length was still hanging out of the slit in his boxers. Hidan's eye widened slightly and he quickly put himself together and zipped his pants up.

"What is it?" a pissed off Zetsu asked as he opened the door revealing a very impatient looking Sasori.

"I have a question." Sasori said letting himself in past Zetsu.

"Well, what's the question?"

"What were we assigned in Biology for the project?"

Zetsu looked at Sasori as if he hadn't understood "Are….you serious?"

Sasori nodded "Of course."

"Sasori….we were just given that project yesterday, it's the middle of march, and it's not sue until May."

"So?" Sasori asked.

"Argh!…." Zetsu sighted at length, "Ok…we are doing the reproductive organs." Zetsu mumbled running a hand through his hair to calm himself down.

Hidan blinked, "We have a project?"

Sasori nodded "We just got it yesterday, but…you were 'sick'"

"Tch, whatever, so it's a partner thing?"

"Yeah," Sasori responded, "I'm partners with Zetsu."

"Who am I partners with then?" Hidan asked

"I dunno, who ever is left."

"Damn I, if I had know that we were gonna be assigned partners, I would've come to school."

"Since when do you care about school projects?" Sasori asked looking at Hidan skeptically.

" Because, I wanna be with Zetsu."

"What? Why?" The red head asked

"Because, I like Zetsu, he's fun to work with."

Zetsu Smiled happily at this. Sasori looked over at Zetsu from Hidan and noticed his smile at Hidan's comment.

"Do you want to be Hidan's partner instead Zetsu?"

Zetsu nodded "Yes, if you don't mind."

"Ok then," Sasori nodded "I'll just be partners with someone else."

"Awesome." Hidan said standing from the cough smiling.

"Well the," the puppet master said moving over to the door "I'll see you guys latter."

"Bye then." Zetsu and Hidan said in unison.

Sasori then left leaving the two alone once again.

"so un," Zetsu began stopping what was going to be an awkward silence. "What were you going to say before?"

"O-oh…um…."Hidan felt himself begin to blush as his little confidence that he had had before echoed away from him and was replaced with nervousness and anxiety. "I…C-can't remember." he lied smiling sheepishly.

Zetsu looked slowly away from the other, "O-oh….well that's ok." he mumbled sounding disappointed.

"H-Hey," Hidan said walking over to the plant man and patted his shoulder, "Don't worry….I-I'm sure I'll remember soon."

Zetsu looked up at the other slowly a soft smile on his face "O-ok then."

Hidan smiled, "H-hey, why don't we go see a movie or something? We've got all day right?"

Zetsu nodded in agreement.

Hidan's smile widened, "Off we go then."

The two of them walked over to the front door, Zetsu picking up his wallet along the way. Then while standing at the doorway checking to see if he had enough cash on him, Zetsu felt a soft warm presence against his unoccupied hand, it tightening after a moment. Zetsu blinked and then looked down to see Hidan's hand wrapped around his. Zetsu blushed faintly and looked up to notice that the Jashinist was blushing as well looking in front of him trying to act like it meant nothing, but it meant a lot to the two of them, especially Zetsu, and most certainly Hidan. Zetsu smiled happily and opened the front door, "So, what movie do you want to see?" He asked as both of them exited the house.

AN: Holly crap this was a long chapter! Hm…maybe I should have divided it up into smaller chapters? Has anyone else who reads this noticed that this has somehow morphed into Zetsu Hidan instead of Hidan Shikamaru? Eh, whatever, Shikamaru can have Asuma, Choji, his Dad or somethign I don't care. Well anyway, I hope that you enjoyed it. Please tell me what you think, I _love_ Feedback!


	5. Chapter 5

_AN: Annnd there's Chapter 5! It took me forever! I'm sooorrry! I actually what thinking of discontinuing this story, but just recently Someone favorited this story and it just made me soo happy that I just had to write another chapter! And there should be more chapters to come too! Note: A lot of the stuff in this chapter had gotten bolded or italicized somehow so I had to delete that chapter and edit this. I dunno if that effected anything though, I hope it didn't! Anyway, enjoy!_

"So what movie do you want to see Hidan?" Zetsu asked while they waited in line to get their tickets.

"Hm… Well, I'm ok with anything you pick."

"Oh, ok then. Then how about -"

"W-…well um actually, try not to pick a horror movie."

"Hm? Why not?" White Zetsu asked

"Um…well." Hidan Began

"D'aww, are you scared?**" **Black Zetsu teased poking Hidan in the chest.

"H-Hey! I-I'm not scared! I…I'm just not a big fan of them…yeah." The Jashinist huffed a faint blush covering his cheeks.

"Oh really?" The Bipolar asked

"Y-Yeah!" Hidan Chirped

"You're blushing." Zetsu commented.

Hidan's eyes widened slightly "Wha-what! N-No!" He stammered, shocked covering his blushing cheeks "I'm not!" he continued "H-Hey, isn't it _really_ warm in here?" The Jashinist asked to no one in particular. "M-Man! They _really_ need to turn up the AC!"

"Well I don't think so." came a voice behind Hidan and Zetsu. "I think it's pretty cold inhere, and I have a long sleeve shirt on. And I mean it's October and -"

"O-Ok, Ok." Hidan interrupted "We all know your stance on the room and outdoor temperature now. Thank you _so _very much for helping me in my current situation." the Jashinist said sarcastically looking over his shoulder at the person. Hidan's eyes widened as he registered who he had just insulted. "H-Holly… P-Pineapple head!" he gasped in disbelief

"Gee, Thanks Hidan. I'll keep this in mind when I grade the tests latter." Shikamaru said rolling his eyes at him. "And my name's not Pineapple head. It's Shikamaru. But you really should be calling me Mr. Nara Hidan."

Hidan stood shocked looking back at his teacher.

"Oh, I dunno." The person next to Shikamaru said looking at the Nara, "It does remind me of a Pineapple."

Shikamaru blinked and looked at the person next to him "Ch-Chouji!" he gasped blushing faintly.

Chouji chuckled, "Are you sure it's not too warm in here for you Shika? You're Kinda red too."

Shikamaru's blush darkened "Ch-Chouji," he whined softly "you're not helping me at all here!"

Chouji laughed "Okay, okay," he said smiling and ruffling Shikamaru's hair "I'll quit it." he patted the top of the others head.

Shikamaru grumbled softly looking off to the side his blush holding.

"Uh…" Hidan muttered trying to think of something to say before an awkward silence took over.

"Even after that convincing argument you put up, I still think our scared Hidan." Zetsu Commented.

"I-I'm not!" Hidan retorted.

"Then how about your prove it?" the bipolar challenged.

"You know what? Fine! I will!" He replied crossing is arms over his chest and huffing.

"Are you sure?" White Zetsu asked "I don't want you to be having nightmares." Black Zetsu teased.

"I-I'm not going to have nightmares because I'm not scared!" Hidan countered looking off to the side.

Zetsu shrugged smirking slightly "Hm, I wonder which one would be the scariest." he pondered looking over the movie tittles on an over hanging sign. "There are: Blood Lust, Midnight murder, lost in red…Geez, there sure are a lot of horror movies to pick from."

"Well it is October." Chouji stated "With Halloween and all."

"Good point." Zetsu Mumbled looking at Chouji from the sign.

Chouji nodded "I've seen trailers for most of these and I personally think that asylum seems the scariest." he said nodding in agreement with himself.

"Ok. Then we'll be going to that one Hidan."

"Oh, goodie goodie." Hidan grumbled glancing back at Chouji "Hmph…this guy has a bakery right? Well, I'm sure as hell not going to go to this guys bakery anymore." Hidan thought eying Chouji angrily.

"Are you sure that you want to see this movie Hidan?" Zetsu asked Looking at Hidan

"Yeah, yeah. I'm sure." Hidan murmured looking over at Zetsu.

Zetsu Shrugged "Ok then." White Zetsu said walking up to the ticket booth with Hidan beside him "You know you can hold my hand if you get scared during the movie." Black Zetsu taunted.

Hidan blushed faintly "Yeah, yeah." He said Grabbing Zetsu's shoulders and turning him so that he was facing the ticket booth, "Just get the tickets already."

"Well, ok then." Zetsu said looking at Hidan once more before looking at the ticket booth worker. "Two tickets for Asylum please."

_AN: So here's the end of Chapter 5. I hope that this chapter isin't too bad, I really wanted to update before I went on this trip so yeah. It's a bit short but I'm thinking that I'm going to be updating the next chapter sooner! Even though I have school, but since when have I cared about school more then Yaoi? XD_

_Loved it? Hated it? Let me know! _

**_Thank you for inspiring me ichigofan01! You're the best!_**


	6. Chapter 6

_~AN: Ok, here's chapter 6! Yaaay! Ok so I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. Just so you know, the whole sentences that are in all italics are thoughts, just do you know. Don't want any more confusion then there has to be right? Enjoy.~_

"Are you sure you wanna go through with this Hidan?" Zetsu asked as they were seated in the movie theater. "We could still go sneak into a different moive is you want."

"Hmph, whatever Zetsu, I got this." Hidan huffed sitting down next to the bipolar "Ok then, if you say so." Zetsu said looking over at the big screen.

"Damn straight." the Jashinist grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. Silence over took the two as Zetsu watched the previews for the movie.

"Um… What time is it Zetsu?" Hidan asked trying to start a conversation.

"About eight twenty-five p.m." Zetsu said looking over at the Jashinist "So the movie should stat any minute now." he said stretching.

"Ok then." Hidan said trying to think of something else to say.

"You know, if you get scared during the movie, you can hold onto me if you want." Black Zetsu teased nudging Hidan lightly, a chuckle in his voice.

"Ha, ha." Hidan replied "Very fun- Ah!" Hidan yelped as something grabbed the back of his necklace and pulled back hard on it. Hidan felt something bite down on the shell of his ear "Z-Zetsu!" The terrified Jashinist squeaked squeezing his eyes shut tightly. Hidan cringed when he felt something wet press up against his ear. Hidan felt a scream building up in his throat and was about to cry for Zetsu again when he heard two familiar laughs, the scream quickly turning into a growl of anger as it emerged from his throat.

"What the Fuck!" He growled reaching back with his hands and grabbing hold of a hand by his ear and a chakra string attached to his necklace and swiftly yanking them away.

"Ahh! It's gonna get you un!" Deidara laughed pulling his hand away from Hidan's, the tongue hanging out of the hand's mouth licking at the air.

Sasori laughed "Quick! Get Zetsu to save you Hidan!" he Laughed pulling the chakra string back.

Hidan growled "Shut up you Bitches!"

"Heey un," Deidara said holding his hands up in defense, showing off his mouth hands, both of the tongue out now and lapping at the air, stretching out towards Hidan. "You're the one screaming like a girl here un." Deidara chuckled softly

"The Fuck ever!" Hidan grumbled "The Fuck is up with your hands? The tongues are going crazy."

"It looks like they've developed a taste for you Hidan." Zetsu commented.

"What? Ew." Hidan cringed looking over at Bipolar nodded "And that won't do." White Zetsu said reaching down and grabbing the Jashinist's hand "Because I don't feel like sharing." Black and White Zetsu said in unison and then ran their tongue over Hidan's blushed darkly and Shivered "Z-Zetsu." Hidan whispered and reached out and grabbed Zetsu's hand that was holding his.

Zetsu looked up at Hidan from the Jashinist's knuckles "Hm?" Zetsu questioned.

Hidan Begins pulling Zetsu's hand closer to him. Hidan brought Zetsu's hand up to his lips and slipped his tongue out slowly. Zetsu watched in anticipation of what Hidan was going to do. Hidan interlocked his preciously licked hand with Zetsu's and began to run his tongue along the knuckles Zetsu had licked slowly, and then began to move his tongue over towards Zetsu's knuckles.

"And Besides," Deidara said looking at Sasori, "My hands only have a taste for Sasori-no-dana!" he roared pressing his hands against Sasori's chest the tongues immediately licking at Sasori's shirt, one of the tongues slipping back into the mouth so the mouth could bite at the puppet's shirt

"What the! Deidara!" Sasori gasped shocked by the blonds' spontaneous move " Ouch!" he howled as the mouth bit at his nipple though his shirt

Deidara laughed "See? They like you Dana!" he cheered pressing his hands more against the red head's chest.

"Deidara!" the Puppet shouted pushing hard against the artist. "Stop it!"

Deidara chuckled "Fine, fine un." Deidara said pulling his hands back from Sasori. "Ruin my fun why don't you?" he grumbled "Right guys?" The blond asked looking over at Hidan and Zetsu.

Hidan's eyes widened slightly and pulled back from Zetsu quickly separating his hand from the bipolar's "Whatever." he said looking over at Deidara and Sasori, "You guys are a bunch of dicks."

"I know." Sasori said smirking

"You aren't though huh Hidan?" Deidara said smirking on the same wavelength as his puppet companion.

"Huh?" Hidan questioned looking at the two of them confused, "No… I'm not."

Deidara burst out laughing "He admits it un!" he laughed.

"Oh man, I knew it!" Sasori laughed.

"What's so funny?" The Jashinist asked confused out of his mind.

Deidara opened his mouth to say something but all that came out was a howl of pain "Ouuuch!" he groaned

"Let's not make fun of Hidan ok?" White Zetsu asked "Or something bad might happen." Black Zetsu finished releasing deidara's hand letting it go back forward from the bent backwards position he had it held in.

"Hnn… whatever." Deidara grumbled rubbing his wrist in pain. "C'mon Dana, let's find a better place to sit un."

"Ok then." Sasori replied stand up with Deidara "See you guys latter." He aid walking off with Deidara in search of new seats.

Hidan Looked up at the Bipolar "Zetsu," he murmured

"Hm?" The plant man asked looking down at the Jashinist.

"Um-"

"Try not to piss your pants while watching the movie Hidan!" Sasori Shouted back at them from his and Deidara's new seats close to the front.

"You'd better watch it Sasori!" Zetsu threatened reaching down and grabbing an empty soda can from next to his seat and throwing it at the red head.

"Ow!" the puppet yelped as the soda can made contact with his head "Screw you!" he shouted shaking a first at the Bipolar, "Zetsu can't always be there to stick up for you Hidan!" Sasori shouted and sat down angrily with a huff.

"Hmph" Zetsu Grumbled "We'll see about that." He mumbled to himself

"Stupid mother fuckers." Hidan grumbled as the lights of the theater dimmed and the movie previews began

"Oh, Well at least the movie's starting." Zetsu said looking at Hidan.

"Sure," Hidan said looking over at the plat man. "Not really how I wanted to spend the time before the movie though." the Jashinist said smiling slightly and chuckling.

"Oh really? Well maybe we can do what you want to do a bit latter hm?" Zetsu asked smiling softly.

Hidan chuckled, "Yeah, ok." He said his smile widening. "_if you wanna make out with me that is."_ Hidan thought a faint blush dusting across his cheeks

"Gotta be careful of my teeth though." Zetsu said clicking his teeth together "Unless you would like that." he said nudging the Jashinist lightly.

"H-Huh?" Hidan asked looking up at Zetsu, pushing away his thought, "What was that?"

Zetsu chuckled and shook his head "Ooh, nothing." Black Zetsu said grinning at the Jashinist.

"Um, ok then." Hidan said looking forward at the screen Zetsu doing the same.

Zetsu opened his mouth to say something but stopped when he felt Hidan take his hand into his own, intertwining his fingers with the plant man's.

"_Heh, maybe I should start suggesting other things too…hmm._" the Bipolar thought holding Hidan's hand. "…Hey, ya know Hidan." Zetsu Began.

_~AN: Annnd there's the end of chapter 6. And you should be expecting another chapter pretty soon at the rate I'm going at with chapter 7! Woo! I never thought that this story was going to get going again! I'm so glad it did!_

_Like it? Hate it? Leeet mee knooww!~_


	7. Chapter 7

_~AN: Ok, here's chapter 7. Yaaay. Ok So I don't own Naruto, Naruto Belongs to Masashi Kishimoto. Again, the whole sentences all in italics are thoughts. Don't want you getting confused now do I? I hope you like it!~_

"Mm, this was a good idea Zetsu." Hidan said reclining back in the two person seat putting his feet up on the back of the empty seat in front of him. "There really is more room."

"Thanks." he plant man said placing the popcorn they bought earlier in-between them.

"And we don't have to worry about people fucking around with us now since we're way up here in the back." The Jashinist said taking a clump of popcorn into his hand and shoving it into his mouth.

Zetsu nodded "Mm-hm" he murmured eating a few pieces of popcorn

"Is it just me, or were there previews for the previews?" Hidan asked chewing his popcorn and looking at the plant man.

Zetsu nodded "Yeah there were," He said watching the Jashinist "I don't think that could live without getting at least fifteen minutes of commercials." the bipolar reached out and gripped Hidan's jaw pushing upwards closing the Jashinist's mouth.

"Mm?" Hidan questioned confused

"You should chew with your mouth closed." White Zetsu said letting go of Hidan's jaw "That is…" Black Zetsu began bringing his hand up and gripping Hidan's jaw pulling it open slightly "Unless you wanna share with us." Black Zetsu finished smirking beginning to lean in closer to the Jashinist parting his dual colored lips slightly.

Hidan blushed darkly and quickly clamped his mouth shut.

The plant man chuckled "I guess that's a no?" He asked smiling softly, licking his lips.

Hidan's blush darkened as he thickly swallowed the clump of popcorn, tempted to take another clump of popcorn.

"Well, looks like the movie's starting." Zetsu said glancing over at the screen and then back at Hidan. "Are you ok?" White Zetsu asked "You seem a little pale." He said looking worriedly at the Jashinist. "More pale then usual…Did everything go down ok?" he asked grabbing their large soda that they bought before and holding it out to Hidan. "Here, take a drink of this." he insisted watching him closely.

Hidan, although he didn't need a drink, accepted the offer, taking a deep drink of the fizzy drink. "Th-Thanks Zetsu." Hidan said setting the soda down next to the popcorn. "I'm ok." the Jashinist reassured before the plant man could ask. "_Geez, he sure is showing that he's bipolar…I think that it's kinda cute though. Hm, I bet it would be cute to watch them have a little argument too. Just a small one though… hm… I wonder what would happen if one of them tried to punch the other and the other blocked it…Would they just be stuck there in place? I mean they'd both be pushing against the others fist…hm…well they don't seem like they fight much anyway." _Hidan nodded to himself

"Well… Ok." The plant man said watching the other, "But if you ever think that something's wrong, just tell me ok?"

Hidan nodded "Ok then." he said looking back at the screen"Hey you know." Zetsu began

The Jashinist looked back over at the plant man

"Now that were in a two person seat, you can sit in my lap if you get too scared." Black Zetsu said grinning.

The Jashinist blushed, at a loss for words, a new feeling for the zealot.

"Yeah, we'll even carry you outta here if you want." White Zetsu added

Hidan blushed darker "W-well I," he began but trailed off, not yet finding his voice.

"We'll hold you and keep you safe." Black and White Zetsu said in Unison smiling widely.

Hidan was blushing a bright red, reduced to a pile of Stutters and uttering an odd insensible word or two.

Zetsu Chuckled softly "Are you getting at Something?" He asked watching the Stuttering Zealot, amused by their panicked state of embarrassment. Hidan merely continued to stutter not being able to form a logical sentence.

Zetsu Chuckled "Calm down Hidan." the plant man soothed running his hand through the Jashinist's hair "We won't make you share if you don't want to." the albino said and kissed the top of Hidan's head quick.

"O-Ok." Hidan murmured blushing darkly.

Zetsu nodded and looked back at the movie screen and smiled wide when Hidan scooted closer to him moments latter and took Zetsu's hand into his.

"_Gotta take baby steps I guess."_ the Bipolar thought holding Hidan's hand firmly "_And With Hidan, heh, who would have thought." _Zetsu chuckled softly at the thought.

"Wh-what's funny?" Hidan asked looking up at the plant man blushing.

"Oh, nothing, nothing." Zetsu replied smiling not taking his eyes off of the screen

"Just hoping that this is going to be a _really_ scary movie." He said and grinned down at Hidan

Hidan winced at the thought of how scary the movie could be "Y…yeah…me too." he lied looking at the plant man.

Zetsu nodded in agreement and Hidan looked forward at the big screen "And remember Hidan," the Jashinist looked back up at the bipolar "My suggestions are still out there, don't be afraid to take one of them." He grinned and winked at the Jashinist.

Hidan blushed darkly "Wh-which one?" he asked regretting moments later as Zetsu took his hand out of Hidan's and wrapped his arm around Hidan's shoulders making him blush a deep red "Oh, only all of them." the bipolar said pulling the Jashinist closer to him "you could hold onto me while in my lap as I mouth feed you." Zetsu said grinning leaning in and resting his head on Hidan's shoulder.

Hidan opened his mouth and moaned softly, but it wasn't heard by the plant man as a loud increase in the pace and volume of the music blared signifying that someone just got killed. Zetsu looked over at the screen and laughed at the sight of a young man stabbed though his head, blood oozing out onto the side walk of a quite night neighborhood.

"Well now, not even five minutes into the movie and someone's dead. This is going to be an exciting movie now isn't it?"

Hidan cringed slightly looking at the sight of the dead person on the screen "S-Sure." he stuttered gulping, "U-um… H-how long is this movie Zetsu?" the Jashinist asked looking up at Zetsu as an excuse to look away from the movie screen.

"Should be about an hour and a half long." the plant man said looking down at Hidan, "You have something planed?" Zetsu questioned.

Hidan shook his head, "N-No, just wondering." he said calculating how long his torture would last, "S-Soo, we're out of here at ten?" Hidan asked looking at the plant man.

Zetsu nodded, "Yep. And you said you weren't good at math." Zetsu said ruffling the Jashinist's hair.

"Ha-ha. Funny guy." Hidan grumbled blushing faintly and looked back at the screen. Hidan yelped softly as someone jumped out of a tree landing on an unsuspecting person below, gnawing and tearing at the victims neck savagely, the person roaring in pain and fear with their last breaths. Hidan cringed, watching the cloaked attacker stand slowly up from it's victim a large clump of flesh hanging form their mouth. The killer then proceeded to grab the feet of their victim and drag it along down the road, the screen ending as the murderer looked up at the sky letting out a blood curdling victory cry.

"Nmm…" Hidan whimpered softly biting his lip

"Wow, two people dead in less then eight minutes." The bipolar whispered to Hidan. "I think that's a new record. This is going to be a great movie huh?"

"Y…Yeah…Sure." Hidan murmured staring at the full moon left on the screen in horror, Hoping that something would happen that would make him and Zetsu have to leave. Or something would happen to the movie projector, disabling it from putting him through any more torture. But, the movie continued without falter and Zetsu voiced no words of distaste for the movie. So, not wanting to be considered a coward or scaredy cat by Zetsu and everyone else in the theater, especially Sasori and Deidara, Hidan stayed seated, trying to damnest to boost up his courage and keep away from shivering or quaking with fear later on in the movie. Hoping that this movie might, just might not be as scary as it's starting out to be.  
But…He doubted it.

_~AN: And, End of chapter 7! Woo! Did you like those last few sentences? I did. I'm proud of them XD. Did ya like Hidan's little thought storm up there? XD I've actually thought about that before. If people around saw them doing that, I think that they'd get soo confused XD! So now this story is really picking up again huh? Heh, more then Perfect pet for those of you who are also reading that. I guess I just can't update both at the same speed. *Shrugs* I hope you liked it!_

_Liked it? Haaated it with every fiber of you being? Clue me in too! I wanna know man!_

_Hope I get to update again soon.~_


	8. Chapter 8

_~AN: So I finally updated this story for those people who care! Yaaay ANBUfox95 had reviewed chapter 7 saying they liked it (Geez I'm pathetic, I needed someone to inspire me to write a chapter before this one too! XD), and I went all like Shakespearian writer on her, heh. She rekindled my writing soul! XD __**Thank you ANBUfox95! **(If you're reading this, heh) __Anyway, So Here's chapter 8! I hope that it's good. So I don't own Naruto, Masashi Kishimoto does. __**Whole italicized sentences are thoughts!**_

Hidan was shivering, not from the chill of the theater, but from the absolute fear that resided inside him. Yeah, thanks to the simply delightful movie that's playing out in front of him, the poor Jashinist is shaking like a leaf. He can't remember the last time he was this scared! He had started shaking around when the 7th person had been killed and he 6th person had turned into a blood thirsty cannibal who then ventured out surely to eat people.

"_Zetsu either hasn't notice my freaking out…or he has…but doesn't care." _Hidan thought frowning at the thought. Just then an arm wrapped around Hidan's shoulders, surprising the Jashinist.

Hidan looked up to the owner of the arm and smiled slightly at the sight of Zetsu looking own at him worriedly, regret etched into his features.

"Hidan, are you ok?" the bipolar asked guilt oozing from his voice.

The zealot nodded and smiled slightly wider, trying to show casing that he was ok.

Zetsu furrowed his brow skeptically and the zealots attempt "But, you're shaking like a leaf." he muttered looking the Jashinist over.

Hidan's smile turned into a frown and he looked down at his shaking hands. "I… I'm sorry Zetsu." the zealot shrugged the plant man's arm away from his shoulders. "I-I'll just leave, I…don't want to be a burden to you." he said beginning into raise from the seat. Hidan yelped in time with someone getting their throat ripped out by a Cannibal, the blaring music masking his cry enough so that only Zetsu heard him. But the zealot hadn't yelped because of the movie, he had yelped because Zetsu pulled him down away from the aisle and into his lap.

Hidan blushed darkly, distracted for a moment but then remembered his situation. "Z-Zetsu…I…can't…" He whispered trailing off.

Zetsu shook his head, wrapping his arms around the Jashinist's waist slowly, "It's ok," he soothed holding the zealot closer to him. "The movie's almost over."

"B-but…"

Zetsu shook his head again "It's ok, nothing bad can happen if you're with us."

Hidan nodded slowly "B-but…the…the movie's."

"We'll distract you." the plant man said gripping Hidan's chin lightly and turning his head back so he was facing him.

"H-How?" the Jashinist asked looking up at the bipolar.

"Oh, I'm sure we'll think of something." Zetsu said leaning in, capturing the Jashinist's lips in a kiss. Hidan's eyes widened, a dark blush flooding his cheeks. The kiss, through shocking to him at first, slowly melted the Jashinist as he began to relax and lean into the kiss. Zetsu smiled into the kiss and moved one of his hands to the back of the zealot's head cupping it in his hand and pulling him closer, deepening the kiss.

Hidan whined softly as the plant man pulled back from the kiss.

Zetsu chuckled and gripped Hidan's chin lightly.

"Wh-what?" the zealot asked blushing darkly

"You stopped shaking." He said smiling softly.

Hidan blinked, he really had stopped shaking.

Zetsu smiled wider and pulled the shocked Jashinist up against him, the Zealot laying his head on the plant man's shoulder slowly.

"Are you still scared?" the bipolar asked resting a hand on top of Hidan's head, running his hand through his hair soothingly.

Hidan whimpered in reply

"Shh," the bipolar soothed running his hand through his hair again. "It's ok Hidan."

Zetsu leaned down and kissed the Jashinist forehead. "We can go if you want," he said rubbing the others back soothing, "We could go out to eat or something."

"Mm," Hidan shook his head slowly, "No," he murmured, "We should stay here."

"But, I thought that you didn't like the movie Hidan?" Zetsu questioned looking curiously at the Jashinist.

Hidan nodded, "Well, yeah, but I want to see how it ends now." Hidan said smiling slightly "So I know what to do if it actually happens." said an embarrassed grin spreading across his face.

Zetsu chuckled softly "Well, ok then, if you say so. Then you can be safe from the man eaters right?"

Hidan laughed weakly, "Heh, yeah." he said looking at the screen hesitantly.

Zetsu smiled softly, "Hey."

The Jashinist looked back at the other, and blushed darkly as his lips were captured in a kiss.

"It's ok Hidan," The plant man said running his hand through the zealot's hair.

Hidan blushed darker is possible.

"We'll keep you safe."

Hidan smiled softly "Thank you Zetsu." he said leaning his back against Zetsu and slowly looking back to the movie.

Just then a realization sprung on the Jashinist. Zetsu was, no, _is _a cannibal! A jolt of fear surged through him. He glanced back at Zetsu, the plant man's mouth open wide as he let out a yawn, his very very sharp teeth in perfect view. Hidan shivered and looked back at the screen quickly. "_A man's getting his leg eaten off…how lovely._" Hidan looked down at his hands and fumbled with them unsuccessfully trying to get his mind on something other than the cannibal whose lap he was sitting in.

"_No no no, Zetsu wouldn't eat me… he's my friend…more than my friend, my Zu-Zu, right?" _just then Hidan heard a low rumble come from the bipolar's stomach, followed by a grumble of distaste from the hungry plant man. Zetsu slowly wrapped his arms around the zealot's waist, tightly, possessively.

The Jashinist's eyes widened "_Fuck it!" _Hidan screamed mentally, killing several brain cells, "_Zetsu going to Fucking eat me!_"

_~**AN**: Dun DUN **DUUUUN! **What will become of Hidan! ? What Will Hidan do! ? Whhyy Am I asking you all these questions! ? Find out in the next chapter of Math problems! Chapter 9! I look forward to your eyes looking over my typed words soon!  
_  
_Annnd there's the end of chapter 8! The pet name that is Zu-Zu hath returned! Woo! I hope you liked it! And I hope that I can update this story sooner (Now that I've kinda got some idea's going for me.)! It's late, and I'm kinda tired, but I wanted to get this chapter up before the start of a new week soooo yeah, if there were any grammar or spelling mistakes I'm sorry. Feel free to tell me about them if you find any I guess._

_Hey! Like this story? Who's to say you won't like my others then! Maybe you should check them out to see if they are to your liking?_

_Sooo how about this chapter eh? Eh? Liked it? Hated it? Let me know! Your opinion matters!~~_


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